airamg

A great short film..

Love.. Smile..

Do you love smiles?

'Cause when people smile everything is better..

Η λογική εντοπίζεται στην καρδιά του παροξυσμού, εκεί όπου η τρέλα το σκάει τρέχοντας μέσα από τη διχοτομημένη ψυχή.
Ξέρω τον εαυτό μου.
Βλέπω τον εαυτό μου.
Η ζωή μου πιάστηκε σε έναν ιστό λογικής
Υφασμένο από έναν γιατρό για να αυξάνεσθε και πληθύνεσθε
υ/ημείς οι λογικοί.
Στις 4.48
Θα κοιμηθώ.
Ήρθα σε σένα ελπίζοντας ότι θα γιατρευτώ.
Είσαι ο γιατρός μου, ο σωτήρας μου, ο παντοδύναμος κριτής μου, ο ιερέας μου, ο θεός μου, ο χειρουργός της ψυχής μου.
Και εγώ είμαι, ναι, η προσήλυτή σου στην λογική.
------
να επιτυγχάνω στόχους και φιλοδοξίες
να ξεπερνώ εμπόδια και να επιτυγχάνω υψηλές επιδόσεις
να αυξάνω τον αυτοσεβασμό με την επιτυχή άσκηση του ταλέντου
να υπερνικώ τους αντιπάλους
να ασκώ έλεγχο και επιρροή στους άλλους
να υπερασπίζω τον εαυτό μου
να υπερασπίζω τον ψυχολογικό μου χώρο
να δικαιώνω το εγώ
να προσελκύω την προσοχή
ναι φαίνομαι και να ακούγομαι
να συγκινώ, να καταπλήσσω, να γοητεύω, να αιφνιδιάζω, να διεγείρω, να ψυχαγωγώ, να διασκεδάζω ή να ξελογιάζω τους άλλους
να είμαι ελεύθερη από κοινωνικούς περιορισμούς
να αντιστέκομαι στην καταπίεση και στον καταναγκασμό
να είμαι ανεξάρτητη και να δρω ανάλογα με τις επιθυμίες μου
να περιφρονώ τους τύπους
να αποφεύγω τον πόνο
να αποφεύγω την ντροπή
να ξεπλένω παλιές ταπεινώσεις αναλαμβάνοντας εκ νέου δράση
να διατηρώ τον αυτοσεβασμό μου
να καταστέλω το φόβο
να ξεπερνώ την αδυναμία
να ανήκω
να είμαι αποδεκτή
να πλησιάζω και να επικοινωνώ ευχάριστα με τους άλλους
να συνομιλώ φιλικά, να λέω ανέκδοτα, να ανταλλάσσω συναισθήματα, ιδέες, μυστικά
να επικοινωνώ, να συνομιλώ
να γελάω και να κάνω καλαμπούρια
να κερδίζω τη στοργή του επιθυμητού Άλλου
να προσκολλώμαι και να παραμένω πιστή στον Άλλον
να απολαμβάνω αισθησιακές εμπειρίες με αυτόν τον καθεξόμενο Άλλον
να τρέφω, να βοηθώ, να προστατεύω, να ανακουφίζω, να παρηγορώ, να υποστηρίζω, να νοσηλεύω ή να θεραπεύω
να με τρέφουν, να με βοηθούν, να με προστατεύουν, να με ανακουφίζουν, να με παρηγορούν, να με υποστηρίζουν, να με νοσηλεύουν ή  να με θεραπεύουν
να σχηματίζω αμοιβαίως ευχάριστες, μόνιμες, συνεργατικές, και ανταποδοτικές σχέσεις με τον Άλλον, με έναν όμοιο
να με συγχωρούν
να με αγαπούν
να είμαι ελεύθερη
---


=============================================================
Sanity is found at the centre of convulsion, where madness is scorched
form the bisected soul.
I know myself.
I see myself.
My life is caught in a web of reason
spun by a doctor to argument the sane.
At 4.48
I shall sleep
I came to you hoping to be healed.
You are my doctor, my saviour, my omnipotent judge, my priest, my
god, the surgeon of my soul.
And I am your proselyte to sanity.
---
to achieve goals and ambitions
to overcome obstacles and attain a high standard
to increase self-regard by the successful exercise of talent
to overcome opposition
to have control and influence over others
to defend myself
to defend my psychological space
to vindicate the ego
to receive attention
to be seen and heard
to excite, amaze, fascinate, shock, intrigue, amuse, entertain,
or entice others
to be free from social restrictions
to resist coercion and constriction
to be independent and act according to desire
to defy convention
to avoid pain
to avoid shame
to obliterate past humiliation by resumed action
to maintain self-respect
to repress fear
to overcome weakness
to belong
to be accepted
to draw close and enjoyably reciprocate with another
to converse in a friendly manner, to tell stories, exchange
sentiments, ideas, secrets
to communicate, to converse
to laugh and make jokes
to win affection of desired Other
to adhere and remain loyal to Other
to enjoy sensuous experiences with cathected Other
to feed, help, protect, comfort, console, support, nurse or
heal
to be fed, helped, protected, comforted, consoled,
supported, nursed or healed
to form mutually enjoyable, enduring, cooperating and
reciprocating relationship with Other, with an equal
to be forgiven
to be loved
to be free
---

Sarah Kane, 4.48 Psychosis

Θά ῾ρθει μιὰ μέρα ποὺ δὲ θά ῾χουμε πιὰ τί νὰ ποῦμε
Θὰ καθόμαστε ἀπέναντι καὶ θὰ κοιταζόμαστε στὰ μάτια
Ἡ σιωπή μου θὰ λέει: Πόσο εἶσαι ὄμορφη, μὰ δὲ
βρίσκω ἄλλο τρόπο νὰ στὸ πῶ
Θὰ ταξιδέψουμε κάπου, ἔτσι ἀπὸ ἀνία ἢ γιὰ νὰ
ποῦμε πὼς κι ἐμεῖς ταξιδέψαμε.
Ὁ κόσμος ψάχνει σ᾿ ὅλη του τὴ ζωὴ νὰ βρεῖ τουλάχιστο
τὸν ἔρωτα, μὰ δὲν βρίσκει τίποτα.
Σκέφτομαι συχνὰ πὼς ἡ ζωή μας εἶναι τόσο μικρὴ
ποὺ δὲν ἀξίζει κἂν νὰ τὴν ἀρχίσει κανείς.
Ἀπ᾿ τὴν Ἀθήνα θὰ πάω στὸ Μοντεβίδεο ἴσως καὶ
στὴ Σαγκάη, εἶναι κάτι κι αὐτὸ δὲ μπορεῖς
νὰ τὸ ἀμφισβητήσεις.
Καπνίσαμε -θυμήσου- ἀτέλειωτα τσιγάρα
συζητώντας ἕνα βράδυ
-ξεχνῶ πάνω σὲ τί- κι εἶναι κρῖμα γιατὶ ἦταν τόσο
μα τόσο ἐνδιαφέρον.
Μιὰ μέρα, ἂς ἤτανε, νὰ φύγω μακριά σου ἀλλὰ κι
ἐκεῖ θά ῾ρθεις καὶ θὰ μὲ ζητήσεις
Δὲ μπορεῖ, Θέ μου, νὰ φύγει κανεὶς μοναχός του.

"Θα 'ρθει μια μέρα",  Μανόλης Αναγνωστάκης

A cry for love,a cry for the love I found in you, a cry that brings me back to life while I'm dying..
I know you'll find yourself in here..

....and this is maybe the end of love...maybe by an expressionism view...
or maybe just when the end comes and somehow you feel alive ,strong and full of love..
whatever it is, it's strong,crazy and especially dedicated to my Death..

A piece of advice :take a deep breath and start reading...

'' And I want to play hide-and-seek
and give you my clothes
and tell you I like your shoes
and sit on the steps while you take a bath
and massage your neck
and kiss your feet
and hold your hand
and go for a meal
and not mind when you eat my food
and meet you at Rudy's
and talk about the day
and type up your letters
and carry your boxes
and laugh at your paranoia
and give you tapes you don't listen to
and watch great films
and watch terrible films
and complain about the radio
and take pictures of you when you're sleeping
and get up to fetch you coffee
and bagels and Danish
and go to Florent
and drink coffee at midnight
and have you steal my cigarettes
and never be able to find a match
and tell you about the tv programme I saw the night before
and take you to the eye hospital
and not laugh at your jokes
and want you in the morning but let you sleep for a while
and kiss your back
and stroke your skin
and tell you how much I love your hair your eyes your lips your neck your breasts
and sit on the steps smoking till your neighbour comes home
and sit on the steps smoking till you come home
and worry when you're late
and be amazed when you're early
and give you sunflowers
and go to your party
and dance till I'm black
and be sorry when I'm wrong
and happy when you forgive me
and look at your photos
and wish I'd known you forever
and hear your voice in my ear
and feel your skin on my skin
and get scared when you're angry and your eye has gone red and the other eye blue
and your hair to the left
and your face oriental
and tell you you're gorgeous
and hug you when you're anxious
and hold you when you hurt
and want you when I smell you
and offend you when I touch you
and whimper when I'm next to you
and whimper when I'm not
and dribble on your breast
and smother you in the night
and get cold when you take the blanket
and hot when you don't
and melt when you smile
and dissolve when you laugh
and not understand why you think I'm rejecting you when I'm not rejecting you
and wonder how you could think I'd ever reject you
and wonder who you are but accept you anyway
and tell you about the tree angel enchanted forest boy who flew across the ocean because he loved you
and write poems for you and wonder why you don't believe me
and have a feeling so deep I can't find words for it
and want to buy you a kitten I'd get jealous of because it would get more attention than me
and keep you in bed when you have to go
and cry like a baby when you finally do
and get rid of the roaches
and buy you presents you don't want
and take them away again
and ask you to marry me
and you say no again but keep on asking because though you think I don't mean it I do always have from the first time I asked you and wander the city thinking it's empty without you
and want what you want
and think I'm losing myself but know I'm safe with you
and tell you the worst of me
and try to give you the best of me because you don't deserve any less
and answer your questions when I'd rather not
and tell you the truth when I really don't want to
and try to be honest because I know you prefer it
and think it's all over but hang on in for just ten more minutes before you throw me out of your life
and forget who I am and try to get closer to you because it's beautiful learning to know you
and well worth the effort
and speak German to you badly
and Hebrew to you worse
and make love with you at three in the morning
and somehow somehow somehow communicate some of the overwhelming undying overpowering unconditional all-encompassing heart-enriching mind-expanding on-going never-ending love I have for you....''

from Sarah's Kane, ''Crave''